I am a student at in Uru Mānuka. In 2020 I was a year 7 and in 2021 I will be a year 8. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
I went to Jellie park out on friday and i went on the hydroslide it was funI went to Jellie park out on friday and i went on the hydrosilde it was fun.
Jambo Tane, Shyla here! Great work on this post! Maybe next time, you could not repeat it X2. This post gave me a memory of when we all went to Jelly park trip. Blog ya later!
Hello Kareem here, I liked the way you added a photo of Jellie Park. This reminded me of when the whole school had a fun day at Jellie Park. To improve, you could lower the size of the text so that your post is smaller and it looks better. Next time you could not repeat the post because it is not neccesary to do that. From Kareem.
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about
Hi I am Issac from Karoro School I like your writing I just think you should't repeat all of it.
ReplyDeleteJambo Tane, Shyla here!
ReplyDeleteGreat work on this post! Maybe next time, you could not repeat it X2.
This post gave me a memory of when we all went to Jelly park trip.
Blog ya later!
Hello Kareem here, I liked the way you added a photo of Jellie Park. This reminded me of when the whole school had a fun day at Jellie Park. To improve, you could lower the size of the text so that your post is smaller and it looks better. Next time you could not repeat the post because it is not neccesary to do that.
ReplyDeleteFrom Kareem.
Hey Tane
ReplyDelete